Sunday is a special day for us to celebrate our fathers. If your father is still living, be sure to honor him and if he isn’t, thank God for his influence in your life. Although no man has been, or is, a perfect dad, God has blessed us with these men who are important to us.
One cliche often quipped is, “like father, like son,” indicating how children often copy their parents’ behavior. A similar statement often used derogatorily is, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Both of these comments hold truth, but it’s important for children not to let their fathers (or mothers) totally define their character and actions, for every parent is a broken specimen of God’s perfect ideal.
We find many positive and negative examples of parent/child relationships in the Bible from which we can learn. The interaction between King David and his son, Solomon, can be very informative for our own families. David was a wise and strong leader who expanded and solidified the kingdom while composing many songs that we still cherish today. He also demonstrated bravery in standing against Goliath and other enemies who sought to harm his people.
Positively, David’s son Solomon was also very wise, and was sharp enough to ask God for more wisdom when He offered him whatever he wanted. Like his father, Solomon also composed music and 1 Kings 4:32 tells us he wrote 1,005 songs and 3,000 proverbs. He was quite a prolific writer and even penned three books of our Bible.
Negatively, however, Solomon not only copied his father’s weakness for women, he supersized it. While David committed adultery and had at least eight wives in addition to his concubines, Solomon married 700 women and had 300 concubines. And his wives, many of whom were foreign princesses, turned his heart away from his father’s God and toward idols.
While Solomon completed the Jerusalem Temple for Yahweh that David set out to build, later in his life Solomon sadly erected temples for his wives’ idols and worshipped these false gods himself. 1 Kings 11:6 tells us that, “Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.”
In addition to this weakness for women, Solomon also adopted his father’s enemies as his own. In I Kings 2, as David is about to “go the way of all the earth,” he instructs the young Solomon on many topics. Wisely, he warns his son to walk in God’s ways and to keep His commands, which Solomon initially did. But David also encouraged his son to exact revenge on some men who had caused problems for him. In his lifetime, David had shown restraint, and, it seemed, forgiveness. But on his deathbed, he left little question about what Solomon was to do to each of them, which he soon did.
While parents should warn their children about those who may harm them, we shouldn’t encourage them to get revenge for us, nor should children settle their parents’ scores. David and Solomon both lived before Jesus taught about loving and forgiving enemies, but today, if we are Christians, Jesus is our example, not they. Any such warnings to our children about “family enemies” should be tempered with grace and compassion. Thankfully, David also told his son to elevate and bless some men who had shown him kindness, which Solomon also did.
As we consider how Solomon inherited his father’s strengths and weaknesses, may their relationship inform our own. May we emulate those qualities in our fathers and mothers that reflect Jesus while steering clear of those that fall short. Let’s be aware of those who might be a danger without hating or harming them and let’s bless those who have blessed our families. Ultimately, let’s seek to be like our heavenly Father and like His Son, Jesus. Happy Father’s Day, George